Survival Guide of A blond-headed girl.

          It is a wonder how I have been able to survive through all of the turning points in my life. The constant moving to a new place after being there for so long, the battles over where to go for childhood vacations, the cruel punishment I put my parents through as a teenager, the lessons learned from my jobs, and the importance of having a good support group for rough times.

Background Information

             I come from many places, life for me starts on an Army base called Fort Carson located in Colorado near Colorado Springs. When I was about five years old I moved from Colorado to St. Louis, Missouri where I learned about multicultural environments being that I was growing up in a mostly all black area and being babysat by an American Indian. I was taught what values, beliefs, and traditions each culture had at school and at my babysitter’s house (Gary A. Witt, Ronald A. Mossler, 2010).

     I also, learned what it was like to be an outsider looking in and how hard it was to fit into a segregated school.  Fearing for our safety my father moved us to Lake Saint Louis, Missouri where I spent a great deal of my adolescent and young adult life.  In, 1995 I married my husband and moved to Camp Lejeune, North Carolina where I became a mother as well as a military wife.

After, serving his time in the Marines we moved back to Missouri and stayed with my mother-in-law in Maryland Heights. My husband enlisted into the Army and received orders for Fort Sill, Oklahoma. At Fort Sill, I became a mother again and a strong member of the companies Family Readiness Group(FRG). My husband then, extended his service time when we found out I was yet again going to be a mother. Our new orders were going to take us overseas to Ansbach, Germany and a completely new culture and living area. Three years later, we came back to Missouri and received orders for Fort Polk, Louisiana this time I became really involved with my husband’s different units and gained a new respect for the military family.  In May of 2008 I was forced to be the anchor for the family, while my husband was to go and serve fifteen months in Iraq.  Thanks to being a key member of the Family Readiness Group we were able to cope with the separation and the reintegration of daddy to the family. (Cited in Matze, 2005) After being in Fort Polk, for five years my husband and I were ready for a change. That change came with orders to move back to Missouri where we are currently based at Fort Leonard Wood.

Vacation Memories

       During my childhood I spent several summers and a few spring breaks going to amusement parks in California and Florida as well as going up to Sister Bay, Wisconsin where I had a great number of experiences that will last a lifetime.  My summers were spent in California spending time with my grandparents and Aunt Pat and Uncle Richard’s family going to Disneyland, Knott’s Berry Farm, and Universal Studios as well as Sea World. Once, while in California I visited Edward’s Air force base and was able to see the Space Shuttle Challenger land. 

We even stopped once and explored Carlsbad Caverns where I learned about stalagmites and stalactites. If, my parents decided to go and visit my Aunt Janet and Uncle Joe in Florida I got to go to Disney World, and Sea World and other historic places. The best vacations from my childhood were spent in Sister Bay, Wisconsin where I got to swim in the Western Coast of Lake Michigan, go fishing on a charter boat and stay in a cabin with a television that made people look like aliens. My father even taught me how to shot a bee bee gun at empty soda cans off my swing.  Looking back on these vacations I clearly see that they affected me by showing that I will always be a child at heart, who likes simple things and spending as much time as I could with my family.

Lessons partly learned

            Being part of a family of five that always faced some kind of a change is a major part of my childhood. My mother, Pamela and father George who have endured many hardships through their marriage. Showed me that even through good times and bad times that life still goes on no matter how many knee surgeries and medications you have to take.  My two younger sisters Erin and Katherine, gave me a glimpse at how hard raising kids really is, even when you have gone through all the stages of raising one.  My grandparents from both sides taught me the joy of the outdoors and that no matter what you have to fight until the very end with cancer.  My cousins who always treated me like a little sister explaining the hardships of being a teenager and that when you meet the right person you will know.  My aunts and uncles taught me what work and perseverance can gain you almost anything in the end.

Teenage years

       As a teenager I was a hard worker at school, even with my somewhat low self-esteem. As explained in our reading “children with low self-esteem tend to believe failures are a reflection of whom they are and that they cannot succeed even if they try harder.”(Erdly, Cain, Loomis, & Dumas-Hines, 1997 Adult development and Life Assessment p.11) I was able to break out of my shell with the help of friends that were both popular and those that were not. When, I was old enough to get a car I ended up staying out past curfew, being out of control, experimenting with underage drinking, as well as smoking and destructive to items that were not even mine. In my senior year of high school I had a major reality check done when my parents took my car away and explained to me that I needed to be more responsible for my actions. 

         Had my parents read the article by Christine Frank on Webmd they might have been able to understand why I was rebellious and broke curfew and why I did was so, afraid to call them when I received my D.U.I. after going out with friends. In the article Ms. Frank’s gives five behaviors to troubleshoot.  The article gives solutions for five problems that teens go through.  These problems are teens hating their parents, the over use of mobile devices, staying out past curfews, hanging out with the wrong crowd, and dealing with teenage drama.
    
Adult years
 During my young adult years I had many jobs until the birth of my son in August of 1998. My jobs ranged from babysitting where I would help the children with homework and interact with them either by playing games or reading a book to them, to being a family readiness volunteer.  My next job was when I was in high school working the fast food industry in the drive thru area or preparing food for a customer, or fixing a problem that came up with an order.  While I was working at the fast food places I was also, working part-time in a local bank, filing checks, making copies, rolling coins, and taking mail to the post office, I even worked as a safety deposit clerk on the weekends.  I left fast food and banking for a local gas station where I stocked freezers, made pizzas, and ran the cashier spot and took care of the deposits for the graveyard shift.  I also, did a newspaper route for the St. Louis Post Dispatch as a newspaper roller.

This, had to be one the hardest jobs I had since, I could have had a newspaper hit me in the head as it went hurling out my window.  After, I got married and moved to North Carolina with my husband Jeffrey I worked for a nationwide inventory service that would go in and count all the products or items in a certain store.  I learned very quickly that accurately counting an item and to be quick were required skills besides having taken a course in data entry in high school.

        I stayed out of work until my youngest daughter was able to start school.  It was not until we were in Fort Polk that I started working again.  I worked as a volunteer for my husband’s Family Readiness Group, where I became a co-leader and learned that you have to follow rules and regulations for fundraising, not to try to argue a point with a Major about the safety of soldiers drinking and driving, and that being a point of contact can be very time consuming and interesting.  It was once my friends started leaving the group that I ended up having to take on the extra responsibilities of being a leader and keep the morale of our soldiers up as well as the families that were left behind.  Besides, the FRG I was also, working at the school libraries shelving books, entering data on new students and clearing them when they were moving to new areas or schools. It was at my youngest daughter’s school that I got a taste of what teachers go through in a day when I was asked to substitute there until a replacement could be found.  Based on Holland’s personality types the reason why most of my jobs did not last as long as others was because they did not fit my personality type of being artistic which would of allowed me to be creative that involved something in the field of arts, and gave me a way to express myself through creativity and independence. (John Holland’s personality types p.57-58)

Married life

       I married my husband Jeffrey in September of 1995 in a private ceremony with a justice of the peace in St. Charles, Missouri. Jeffrey was fresh out of basic training in the Marines and heading to his duty station in North Carolina. There was no real time for a honeymoon since, he had to start driving there and I had to go to work. We did however; get a honeymoon in November when I flew up to celebrate our birthdays. Early that same year Jeffrey came down and we packed up our things and drove to our new home. The place wasn't much but, it was a roof over our heads.  On December thirty-first of 1997 we found out that I was pregnant with our first child. Dakota was born on August eighteenth of 1998, two days late, but just in time for his first hurricane, which he spent with his grandmother Diane and our two cats Trouble and Missy.

   About a year and half later we welcomed our second child a girl in May twenty-third of 2000, Ashley Nicole who was born in Oklahoma on the hottest day on record.  Dakota and Ashley both got to meet there Grandpa George and Auntie Kate that year since, Jeffrey was dealing with new soldiers training at the time.  It while we were getting ready to move to Germany that  I found out about our third child and how different it was going to be to have a baby there.  We ended up flying to Germany with me being seven months along not knowing if, it was a boy or girl who was not liking the long flight or the pressure changes going on. Once, we were settled in Germany I ended up having to go out in town to a doctor who spoke very little English to find out if, I was having a boy or girl.  On February fourteenth of 2002 I bundled up my son and daughter and walked to the local clinic across the street with my water broken and no phone or car to get hold of my husband.  When, he showed up, with his First Sergeant we drove to the closest hospital which took me straight in and got me ready for the last c-section of my life.  After, giving birth to Cheyenne Jordan I spent several days alone with just her recovering and learning what German I could.  It was three years later that my family and Jeffrey’s got to meet Cheyenne in person. Through all of these life changing situations it became very clear that having family near or far you always have some sort of support with you. 

My three children. (left-Ashley, Dakota, Cheyenne)

 

Conclusion

     Looking at the history of my life I truly am surprised that I was able to survive as long as I have. Going and looking at all of my moving from one  place to another I see just how hard it is to leave people you have grown attached to and the impact of  having to make new friends. I see through my children’s eyes just how much of a terror I was to my parents growing up and that if, I could go back in time I would change what I did as a teenager so, that my little sisters didn't repeat it or have the stories to tell my children. I hope that by taking my children on vacations or just going someplace new that they will see how simple things can be interesting and educational.  From my job experiences I have learned that it is important to find something that allows me to creative and hard working even if, you don't get paid for it.  With my family I hope that by going back to school shows my parents and kids that no matter how old you are it is important to stay in school and reach for your dreams.

Family picture from Christmas a few years ago. (back to front- Mother,Dakota,Husband, self, dad, Cheyenne, Ashley, Erin, Kate.)

References

    Erdly, Cain, Looms, and Dumas-Hines (1997).Adult Development and Life Assessment

           Retrieved from: http://content.Ashford.edu/AUPSY202.10.2

Frank, Christina (2007). 5 Teen Behavior Problems: A troubleshooting guide

     Reviewed by: Kerriem, Varnada, M.D. (2009). Retrieved from: http://www.webmd.com

  Holland’s personality types pages 57-58 Table 2.1. Adult Development and Life Assessment

     Retrieved from: http://content.ashford.edu/AUPSY202.10.2

 Matze, Claire 2005 Coping with Separation.  Retrieved from http://www.babyzone.com

 Witt, G.A. and Mossler, R.A. (2010).Adult Development and Life Assessment.

      Retrieved from http://content.ashford.edu/AUPSY202.10.2